Bay Shore NY
10-29-2024 6:47pm

How to Overcome Infidelity and Heal Individually or as a Couple

SKYLARK'S ARTICLE OF THE WEEK - HOW TO OVERCOME INFIDELITY AND HEAL INDIVIDUALLY OR AS A COUPLE

Our journalism partner, Stacker, contributes to writing articles for authors, like myself who write for Patch Labs under our own brand. In this case, my brand is Skylark Live. I write a weekly newsletter to inspire and motivate women over 60 to thrive in mature aging through knowledge and self-awareness. At this age, we can go through some pretty severe changes that can thrust us into a radical shift. Infidelity is one of them, and it can happen at any age. It can be especially disturbing when it happens over 60. 

There's no one right way to heal from infidelity. Here are some tips that can help you move forward:

Key Takeaways

  • Infidelity, otherwise known as cheating or having an affair, is more common than you might think and can take many forms. However, each couple gets to decide what infidelity means in their relationship.
  • If you're dealing with the impact of infidelity, know that healing is possible. While there's no set timeline for overcoming infidelity, it typically requires open communication, acknowledging the pain that's occurred, and giving each other time to process emotions.
  • Couples therapy can help you and your partner uncover why the infidelity happened and address the relationship dynamics that may have contributed to a loss of trust. Additionally, individual therapy can help you process the emotional trauma of infidelity and help you choose the best path forward.

Most people see infidelity or cheating as having no place in a healthy, long-term relationship. But despite these attitudes, it's incredibly common. According to national surveys, approximately 15% of women and 25% of men admit to engaging in sexual activity outside of their committed partnership. When we account for emotional affairs without a sexual component, those rates increase by 20%.

So, if you're one of the many people whose relationship has been impacted by infidelity, know that you're not alone and help is available. Infidelity is one of the primary reasons that couples seek therapy. But whether you seek to heal from a breach of trust as a couple or on your own, know that you can overcome the pain of infidelity and repair your ability to trust.

What is Infidelity?

When you hear the term "infidelity," what do you think of? For most people, it calls to mind images of cheating or sexual liaisons outside of a committed partnership. But the truth is that infidelity can take many forms, and cheating isn't limited to sexual affairs. Each couple gets to define the rules that govern their relationship. What counts as infidelity in one couple might not be viewed the same way by others.

For example, some people might view flirting, texting, or other online interactions as cheating. But others may view sexual activity as the only type of infidelity that could violate trust. It's also important to note that, for some people, emotional affairs can be more damaging than sexual ones. This might include sharing deep, personal information and cultivating non-sexual intimacy with a person who isn't your partner.

How to Heal from Infidelity

There are many ways to overcome infidelity. For some couples, a serious breach of trust may prompt the end of their relationship. Other couples may choose to work together with a shared desire to repair their connection. But whether you embark on this journey individually or as a couple, know that you can heal from infidelity with the right support.

If you're feeling lost or unsure what to do next, give yourself time for self-care and to process your emotions. Then, consider using the following steps as you think about what's next for you and your relationship.

  1. Acknowledge the pain. The early days and weeks after an infidelity disclosure can leave you feeling heartbroken, angry, and betrayed. Your emotions may vary from one moment to another, and that's completely normal. Remember, this isn't a linear process, and you deserve whatever time and space you need to acknowledge your pain and grieve the loss of trust you've experienced.
  2. Communicate openly about the betrayal. If you've experienced infidelity in your relationship, you might wish you could just press a "reset" button and go back to the way things used to be. But experts say that attempting to push difficult emotions under the rug in an attempt to return to normalcy could cause further damage to the relationship. Instead, both partners need to communicate openly and honestly about the betrayal and their wishes for the future.
  3. Decide on a path forward together or separately. People respond to infidelity in different ways, and many factors can shape your desire to stay together or separate. You get to decide what is ultimately best for you and your mental health. But if you and your partner decide to stay together and work toward healing, it must be a joint effort. Keep in mind that it may take you some time to make a decision, and that's OK.
  4. Consider therapy. Many people find that it's helpful to work with a therapist to process the pain of infidelity and repair their ability to trust. You can do this either in couples counseling, individual counseling, or with a combination of both.

How Couples Therapy Can Support Healing After Infidelity

Research shows that therapy can help couples work through infidelity, stay together, and even improve their relationship. While the process can vary from one couple to the next, a couple's therapist can help you and your partner address three important aspects of overcoming infidelity.

A couple's therapist can help you:

  • Identify the underlying reasons the infidelity occurred. Most of the time, infidelity is a symptom of a deeper concern that you must address for lasting healing to occur. A therapist can help you and your partner explore why the infidelity happened and create a plan to work through those dynamics individually or as a couple. These might include addressing things like emotional trauma, a fear of abandonment, attachment issues, negative past experiences, retaliation for past hurts, or low self-esteem.
  • Increase your understanding of the relationship dynamics that need to change. Affairs don't usually happen in a vacuum, and each person must be willing to acknowledge what role they had in contributing to a loss of closeness and trust. A therapist can help you and your partner understand the interpersonal dynamics you need to shift if you wish to stay together.
  • Work together toward a mutual resolution. If the choice is to remain together, you and your partner both need to take an active role in the therapeutic process. But to get to that point, you'll both need to reflect on why you want to remain in the relationship, what you want your relationship to look like in the future, and what you both need to move forward.

How Long Does it Take to Heal from Infidelity?

When it comes to healing from infidelity, there's no set timeline for recovery. Infidelity can cause a significant loss of trust that may take a long time to process.

Remember, your healing journey is your own. Whether you decide to stay with your partner or end the relationship, be patient with yourself throughout this experience, and remember that healing is hard work. Try to channel some self-compassion and know that you are not defined by your relationships.

And if you need some extra help, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for individual therapy. Sometimes, infidelity can lead to relationship trauma that can be difficult to overcome on your own. But by working with a therapist, you can address the effects of infidelity, repair your ability to trust, and overcome the trauma of betrayal.

This story was produced by Rula and reviewed and distributed by Stacker Media. 

In my own words - love is a funny thing. It ebbs and flows, and it changes throughout the years. I believe that we can be devoted to one person for a very long time. Infidelity is a breach of trust, and it can cause irreparable damage to a good relationship. Make sure if someone steps out of your marriage or relationship that you remain really good to yourself. You will always have you to love.

Invio di amore. 

Peace and Love,

Skylark

At 60 and Beyond, being in a relationship you can trust is key to feeling happy. Why not dress up together and have a Happy Halloween!

SKYLARK'S PICK OF THE WEEK - PATCHOGUE THEATRE

For 100 years, the Village of Patchogue has had a stage at the center of its community - the historic Patchogue Theatre venue that originally opened as Ward & Glynne’s Theater in 1923. In its day, Patchogue Theatre attracted first-run feature films, Broadway productions, silent films, the very best in burlesque, vaudeville and live music performances with acts such as Bette Davis, Eddie Foy and the Fabulous Foys, The Paul Whiteman Orchestra, The Marx Brothers, John Philip Sousa and Rose's Royal Midgets, to name a few. During Patchogue Theatre's early years, the price of admission only cost 40 cents for adults and half that price for children. Glynne operated the Theatre until the Great Depression, when it was purchased by Prudential Playhouses, Inc. Not long after, the days of vaudeville had come to a close, but an evolving film industry and updated sound equipment helped maintain the Theatre as a major venue for first-run films on Long Island, while also serving as a community center for bingo, sing-alongs and other activities. For more information and a schedule of events, visit www.patchoguetheatre.org.

SKYLARK'S HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK - CAN THE YANKS WIN THE WORLD SERIES?

Going into the fourth game Tuesday night, the Los Angeles Dodgers are nine innings away from a fourth and final champagne party – and the eighth World Series championship in franchise history. They lead the New York Yankees 3-0. This is an edge that has proven insurmountable in the 120 years of the Fall Classic. In fact, 21 of 24 teams that have taken a 3-0 lead have closed it out with a sweep, most recently the 2012 San Francisco Giants. 

By the time you read this article, hopefully the Yankees will still be in the game! Play ball!

SKYLARK'S INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE WEEK

SKYLARK'S PRAYER OF THE WEEK 

Dear God,

Please protect all voters in the United States Presidential election and let everyone cast their vote with dignity. Amen.

SKYLARK'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK

What does the Presidential election mean to you?

Please put your answer in the Reply bubble below next to the Heart. I'd love to hear from you. Thank you.

SKYLARK'S SONG OF THE WEEK - MONEY'S TOO TIGHT TO MENTION by SIMPLY RED

<!-- EMBEDDED YOUTUBE URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrUB0g8Vjgg -->

LYRICS

I been laid off from work my rent is due
My kids all need brand new shoes
So, I went to the bank to see what they could do
They said, "Son, look like bad luck got a hold on you"
Money's too tight to mention
I can't get an unemployment extension
Money's too tight to mention
I went to my brother to see what he could do
He said, "Brother, I'd like to help you
But I'm unable to"
So, I called on my father, father
Almighty Father, He said
"Money's too tight to mention"
Oh money, money, money, money
Money's too tight to mention
I can't even qualify for my pension
We're talking about Reaganomics
Oh Lord, down in the Congress
They're passing all kinds of bills
From down on Capitol Hill, we've tried it
Money's too tight to mention, cutback
Money's too tight to mention
Oh, money, money, money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
We're talking about money, money
Money, money, money
We're talking about the dollar bill
And that old man that's over the hill
Now what are we all to do
When money's got a hold on you?
Money's too tight to mention
Oh money, money, money, money
Money's too tight to mention
Dinero money, oh
I'm talking about money, money
I'm talking about money, money
I'm talking about money, money
I'm talking about money, money
Yeah, I'm talking, Ronnie
I'm talking about Ronnie, Ronnie
I'm talking about Ronnie, Ronnie
I'm talking about Ronnie, Ronnie
Did the earth move for you Nancy?
Did the earth move for you Nancy?
Did the earth move for you Nancy?
Did the earth move for you Nancy?
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' Nancy
Yeah, I'm talkin' about a
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, hey
Ooh, oh, I want some
Money, money, money
Hey
I ... dream I had ... old man
Decided ... all that money, Oh

ABOUT MY BRAND, SKYLARK LIVE -60 AND BEYOND WITH SKYLARK

My Brand - Skylark Live - 60 and Beyond with Skylark was born out of my turning 60 and noticing a profound shift in this age. I wanted to talk about it and share what I was experiencing with the hope of helping other women as well. My brand consists of a weekly newsletter and a monthly vlog designed to motivate and inspire women over 60 to thrive in mature ageing through knowledge and self-awareness. One day, I'd like to conduct in-person conversations called The Skylark Sessions. These can be held in someone’s home or at a local library or senior center. Stay tuned.

My Weekly Newsletter - My weekly newsletter, Skylark Live Town News, features articles about human interest, nature, general observations, inspiration, motivation, music, places I've been to, and ideas I want to explore. I represent Bay Shore and towns beyond. There is also a calendar of events. I throw in Italian words, too, because I love the language and all things Italian. Bella Italia! As a paying subscriber, you will receive my newsletter each Wednesday morning in your email. That gives you a head's up. You can also advertise your business or event on my newsletter. Just click this link to subscribe: For updates, subscribe to our free newsletter!

My Monthly Vlog - My first Monday-of-the month vlog is a recap of the articles I've written in my newsletter throughout the previous month. Then, I introduce a unique topic for the current month's vlog. My vlog is recorded and posted on my YouTube channel as well as on my Patreon account and my social media sites. Just click my YouTube channel link below to subscribe: www.youtube.com/@christineskylark

WHERE TO SUPPORT AND FOLLOW ME

Support me on Patreon - This is where you can support my brand for just $5 a month. This enables me to carve out time to write my newsletters, create my vlogs and to expand my brand. Just click the link below: www.patreon.com/SkylarkLive

Follow me on Social Media - You can follow me on Facebook, X, Instagram, and LinkedIn under my brand, Skylark Live.

Thank you for your love and support! Grazie per il vostro amore e sostegno!

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