Looking Back While Remaining Present

SKYLARK'S ARTICLE OF THE WEEK - LOOKING BACK WHILE REMAINING PRESENT

We just celebrated 13 years in our apartment. We're together 14 years in June. Time is moving fast. This is the longest relationship I've ever had, and it gets better with time. The beautiful thing about being with someone this long is that you get to grow together. That's if you are already your own person.

The beginning of a relationship, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase" is wonderful. You can't wait to be together, and you never want to part. That was the case with us. My boyfriend, Ward, and I know each other from middle school. I remember him most from high school seeing him walk through the hallways with his then girlfriend. He was always talking in her ear. I especially remember his shoes. He either wore boat shoe - he loved to sail - or he was wearing army boots. Yes, army boots. They were the rage then. When we got together years later, I asked them if he still had those boots. He looked so good in them.

He was taller than most of the other guys, and he was grunge before that was even in our vernacular. His hair was very long, and he dressed preppy, too. There were many conflicting styles in the 70's. We never dated in high school, and we didn't have any contact for more than 35 years until I received a message on Facebook messenger. That was it. We met on Father's Day in 2012 and have been together ever since.

We can't possibly know what lies ahead for us. If we focus on it too much, that's where we get in trouble. I read a lot about mental and physical health. I finally quit smoking in 2024. That's the best thing I've done for myself recently. Every now and then, I crave a cigarette, but I made a promise to myself to never smoke again. 

I listen to a lot of podcasts and read books on personal growth. There's never enough personal growth in my opinion. At this age, health - mind, body, and soul - is paramount. There is so much written about it, and we can't escape its influence. From Deepak Chopra to Oprah, and Eckert Tolle and his Power of Now, I've learned a great deal about living in the moment. It's where life is. It's the only place it exists. In one of his recent podcasts, Eckert Tolle quoted an interpretation of Christs: "Living in the moment is living fully." That made a big impression on me. 

I am also a big fan of Lenny Kravitz. One of the best songs he's written, to me, is Let Love Rule. It's become a mantra of mine. Love. What a beautiful word. It's my favorite word. If we express love more often, we become love. 

I also love the writer and poet, May Angelo. She says, "You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself." I understand that now. You must love yourself fully and know your purpose in this life. That's the work. Sometimes I find myself asking, "Why are we here on earth? What are we here to do?" I believe it is to learn how to love ourselves. And of course, to love God who resides in each of us. We are made of God love.

So, the next time you feel lost or said or misunderstood, turn inward and sit quiet for a little while. You will be brought back to your true self in the silence of your mind. That's living in moment. That's living fully.

Peace and Love,

Skylark

At 60 and Beyond, loving ourselves frees us. 

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