11-04-2025 10:31am

November Series - Coming Together

Christine Larkin Editor

SKYLARK'S ARTICLE OF THE WEEK - COMING TOGETHER

Welcome November. Benvenuto Novembre.

This month, I'm going to write about a variety of topics including coming together with family. As we enter the holiday season, emotions can arise that we put at bay throughout the year. By now, we've settled into our own lives and created a safe space four ourselves. Coming together with our nuclear family around the holidays can make us tense. We all have a story. I love family, and I enjoy being with my family whenever I can. I'm just made like that. Family is everything to me. I am still learning to hold my tongue. Sometimes I fail. Can you relate?

Just when you think you've got it together and the childhood trauma you may have experienced no longer affects you, and bam. There it is. Someone says something that triggers it and in a moment, you are right back where you started. All that money you spent on therapy goes right out the window. So, what do you do when these old emotions arise as we come together? Take a pause? Walk away? Don't react?

We've all heard, "just walk away." Easier said than done. That takes a lot of self-discipline and self-awareness. We all have that, right? For the most part, a lot of us grow up, move on from the family dynamic, and make a life of our own filled with desires, goals, and accomplishments. We work hard to create our own happiness. But when we gather over the holidays, all of the work we've done on ourselves can dissipate in a moment, and we may find ourselves in a heap of baggage.

To deal with family during the holidays, set boundaries, manage expectations, and prioritize self-care through activities like exercise, mindfulness, and taking breaks. Redirect difficult conversations by changing the subject or making an exit strategy, and limit alcohol intake to stay calm. Creating a plan for your time and focusing on shared interests can also help manage stress.

Prepare and set expectations

Manage expectations: Have realistic expectations for family interactions to avoid disappointment.
Set a plan: Decide who you'll talk to, what topics are safe to discuss, and what you'll do if you feel upset.
Set time limits: If possible, schedule a time for your visit to end to reduce stress.
Focus on shared interests: Keep conversations focused on lighter topics like pop culture, sports, or travel, instead of differences.

Manage interactions

Set and enforce boundaries: Politely and firmly communicate your limits. Use phrases like, "I'd rather not get into that right now".
Redirect conversations: When a difficult topic comes up, change the subject or say you'll discuss it another time.
Take breaks: If you feel overwhelmed, step away for a few minutes to take a walk, get some fresh air, or have a quiet moment.
Excuse yourself: Don't hesitate to politely leave a room if a situation becomes too stressful.

Practice self-care

Prioritize your well-being: Ensure you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and eat well.
Stay active: Incorporate exercise into your holiday schedule to manage stress.
Practice mindfulness: Use deep breathing or other grounding techniques to stay present and calm in the moment.
Limit alcohol: Reduce your intake to maintain a clear head and avoid escalating emotions.
Be kind to yourself: Acknowledge your feelings and practice self-compassion, especially when navigating difficult dynamics.

When to seek extra support

Consider professional help: A therapist can provide strategies for managing stress and navigating difficult family dynamics.
Connect with a support system: Talking to friends or other supportive people outside the situation can provide a fresh perspective.

Whatever you do, take good care of yourself when you get together with family members. It takes patience and dedication to create an environment of love and peace during the holiday season. Start now to think about what you want your time together to feel like. If there are topics that you know will not go well no matter how you frame them, then commit to avoiding them. Time together is precious. Make it work. Make it beautiful. Make it happy.

Peace and Love,

Skylark

At 60 and Beyond, coming together with family can still trigger old pain. Try to stay focused on the good memories that you share together.

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SKYLARK'S PICK OF THE WEEK

If you live in the vicinity of Bay Shore and The Town of Islip, St. Patrick's Church has a Special Needs Mass every second Saturday of the month in the main church at 5:00pm. It's a beautiful service filled with friends and family. Join us.

SKYLARK'S HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK

The highlight of the week was seeing the first sunset in Standard Time. That's the only good thing about Daylight Savings Time ending. I will miss the longer days of sunlight, but am welcoming the new season.

SKYLARK'S INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE WEEK (the second one is too funny)

SKYLARK'S PRAYER OF THE WEEK

Dear God,

Bless our families as we come together in love, peace, and joy. Amen.

Support your local news!

SKYLARK'S ITALIAN PHRASE OF THE WEEK

English: Family is a blessing.

Italian: La famiglia e una benedizione.

SKYLARK'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK

What do you like to do with your family?

Please put your answer in the Comment section under this post. I'd love to hear from you.

SKYLARK'S INERIOR DECORATING TIP OF THE WEEK

Don't be afraid to combine design styles in a room. Blending colors and trends can make a room more cozy and interesting. Go ahead. Be bold.

SKYLARK'S SONG OF THE WEEK - COME TOGETHER by THE BEATLES

LYRICS

Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me

Here come old flat-top, he come groovin' up slowly
He got ju-ju eyeball, he one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker, he just do what he please

Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me

He wear no shoeshine, he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger, he shoot Coca-Cola
He say, "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come together, right now
Over me

Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me

He bag production, he got walrus gumboot
He got Ono sideboard, he one spinal cracker
He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease

Come together, right now
Over me

Shoot me
Right!
Come, come, come, come, come
He roller-coaster, he got early warnin'
He got muddy water, he one mojo filter
He say, "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-lookin' 'cause he's so hard to see

Come together, right now
Over me

Shoot me
Shoot me
Shoot me
Ugh!

Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Oh, come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together

ABOUT MY BRAND, SKYLARK LIVE

My brand, Skylark Live, began when I turned 60 and noticed a profound shift. I wanted to talk about it and share what I was experiencing with the hope of helping other women as well. My brand consists of a weekly newsletter and a monthly vlog designed to motivate and inspire women over 60 to thrive in mature aging through knowledge and self-awareness. Andiamo! Let's go!

Weekly Newsletter - My weekly newsletter, 60 and Beyond with Skylark, features articles about human interest, nature, general observations, inspiration, motivation, music, places I've been to, and ideas I want to explore. I represent Bay Shore and towns beyond. There is also a calendar of events. I throw in Italian words, too, because I love the language and all things Italian. Bella Italia! As a paying subscriber, you will receive my newsletter each Wednesday morning in your email. That gives you a head's up. You can also advertise your business or event on my newsletter. Just click this link to subscribe: For updates, subscribe to our free newsletter!

Monthly Vlog - My first Monday-of-the month vlog, 60 and Beyond with Skylark, is a recap of what I've written about in my newsletters throughout the previous month. Then I introduce a new topic. My vlog is live on my YouTube channel, Skylark Live, and you can view it at any time. Just click the link to subscribe: (736) Skylark Live - YouTube

HOW TO SUPPORT ME

Patreon - This is where you can financially support my brand. It enables me to write my newsletters and create my vlogs to share with you. Just click the link to contribute: www.patreon.com/SkylarkLive

Social Media - Follow me on Facebook, X, Instagram, and LinkedIn under my brand, Skylark Live.

Thank you for your love and support. Apprezza la giornata. Cherish the day. Saluti!