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ASSKYLARK'S ARTICLE OF THE WEEK - CHOOSING THE RIGHT CARE FOR A LOVED ONE
When it comes to choosing the right care for a loved one, it can be difficult to make a decision to place them in alternative living when they need more care than you can provide them at home. This is never easy, but sometimes it's necessary. We want our loved one to be safe.
Nursing homes get a bad rap. It depends on some factors, though. I think sometimes a nursing home can be the best place for a loved one who is either acutely ill or at the end of their life. As we age, too, caregiving can get burdensome. We think we can do it all, but when someone requires constant care, doing it all can be no good at all if we get sick. Caregivers beware.
You must shop around when looking for a nursing home, an assisted living, or a group home for someone in need. This can be an arduous task, but it's worth putting the time into it. Ask lots of questions and take notes. And, if your loved one is in the hospital or a rehab, and you are considering placing them in an alternative living situation, meet with the staff social worker. They can be a great resource for you. Use them wisely.
When my mother was sick with congestive heart failure, she spent some time in the hospital and in a nursing home/rehab center. This was a rotating cycle over a period of time, but ultimately, she stayed in the nursing home and eventually passed away there peacefully. My family and I felt she got the best care she could have gotten at the time. We visited her often, and the nurses were very good to her. To the end, my mother was grateful to have been taken care of by such caring people. Some of the nurses and staff came to her funeral. They adored her. She was such a good patient.
The other situation that can be difficult is when you have a handicapped sibling or relative who is no longer safe living at home, especially if they live alone. Some people can weaken over time, particularly if they have a chronic condition, and falling can be a major concern for them. It's the number one cause of serious injury in older adults. Hiring aids and caregivers outside of the family can be risky, too, and managing that care can be exhausting.
If you're considering placing a loved one in an alternative living facility, understand that it can be difficult because of the emotional complexities involved, including feelings of guilt, loss of independence for the person, concerns about the quality of care, the potential financial burden, and the challenge of making such a significant life change for both them and their family members, especially when the person may resist the move.
Key reasons why it can be hard to place a loved one in an alternative living facility:
- Emotional Impact:
- Guilt and Grief: Many family members feel guilty about "giving up" on caring for their loved one at home, even when it becomes necessary due to declining health.
- Loss of Control: People may resist losing their independence and feeling like they are no longer in charge of their lives. The same goes for a highly functioning handicapped person.
- Fear of the Unknown: Both the individual and family members may worry about the quality of care and the environment in the facility.
- Practical Concerns:
- Financial Stress: Assisted living can be expensive and may not be fully covered by insurance, causing financial strain on the family.
- Choosing the Right Facility: Finding a facility that meets the individual's specific needs and offers a suitable environment can be challenging.
- Logistics of Moving: The process of packing up belongings and moving to a new location can be stressful for everyone involved.
- Communication Challenges:
- Difficult Conversations: Having open and honest conversations with the individual about their needs and the necessity of moving to an alternative living facility can be emotionally difficult.
- Resistance from the Individual: Many people may refuse to leave their home, even when their health is declining, making it hard to convince them to move.
How to make the transition easier:
- Open Communication: Talk openly with your loved one about their needs and concerns and involve them in the decision-making process as much as possible.
- Thorough Research: Visit multiple facilities, compare services and costs, and ask for recommendations from other families.
- Seek Professional Help: Consult with a geriatric care manager or social worker to guide you through the process and address any concerns.
- Focus on the Benefits: Highlight the positive aspects of assisted living, such as access to social activities, meals, and personalized care.
- Gradual Transition: If possible, consider a trial stay at the facility to help the individual adjust to the new environment.
No matter who you are caring for, the decision to move them into an alternative living situation is not an easy one. It requires deep thought and consideration. Perhaps one of the best approaches is to look at yourself and how caregiving affects you and your relationships with other members of your family. They matter, too.
Peace and Love,
Skylark
At 60 and Beyond, caring for a loved one requires good choices for the very best care we can give them. Help is out there. Please take some time to watch this month's vlog on Care for a Loved One. I have also listed some website links that you may find helpful to assist you in navigating this passage. I hope you find this information helpful.
SKYLARK'S VLOG AND WEBSITE LINKS FOR REFERENCE
There are a variety of agencies that can provide help in navigating care for a loved one. Here are just a few that I think can be helpful:
Medicare: www.medicare.gov
Medicaid: www.medicaid.gov
National Institute of Aging: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/assisted-living-and-nursing-homes/long-t…
New York State of Health: https://info.nystateofhealth.ny.gov/Medicaid
A Place for Mom: www.aplaceformom.com
No Place Like Home: www.nplhli.com
Office of People with Developmental Disabilities: https://opwdd.ny.gov/
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SKYLARK'S PICK OF THE WEEK
My pick of the week is the Charles Dicken's Festival in Port Jefferson Village. Put on our best threads and top hat and step out in town. Visit https://www.gpjac.org/dickensfestival for more information and a map of the event. It's fun for the entire family.
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SKYLARK'S NEWS HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK
Biden pardons son: What did Hunter Biden do? What is a pardon?
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SKYLARK'S INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE WEEK
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SKYLARK'S PRAYER OF THE WEEK
Dear God,
Please guide and protect us as we explore options for alternative living for a loved one in need. Amen.
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SKYLARK'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK
How do you approach choosing the right care for a loved one?
Please put your answer in the Reply bubble below next to the Heart. I'd love to hear from you.
SKYLARK'S SONG OF THE WEEK - DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS by CHICAGO
LYRICS
As I was walking down the street one day
A man came up to me and asked me
What the time was that was on my watch? Yeah
I said
(I don't) does anybody really know what time it is?
(Care about time) does anybody really care?
If so, I can't imagine why
(Oh no, no) we've all got time enough to cry
And I was walking down the street one day
A pretty lady looked at me
And said her diamond watch had stopped cold dead
And I said
(I don't) does anybody really know what time it is?
(Care about time) does anybody really care?
If so, I can't imagine why
(Oh no, no) we've all got time enough to cry
And I was walking down the street one day (people runnin' everywhere)
Being pushed and shoved (don't know where to go)
By people trying to beat the clock (I don't know where I am)
Although, I just don't know (I can't see past the next step)
I don't know, I don't know (don't have time to see past the last snow)
And I said (you have no time to look around, they just run around and run around)
Yes, I said (and see what?)
(I don't) does anybody really know what time it is?
(Care about time) does anybody really care?
If so, I can't imagine why
(Oh no, no) we've all got time enough to die
Everybody's worryin' (I don't care)
I don't care
(About time) about time
(Oh no, no) I don't care
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ABOUT MY BRAND, SKYLARK LIVE -60 AND BEYOND WITH SKYLARK
My Brand - Skylark Live - 60 and Beyond with Skylark was born out of my turning 60 and noticing a profound shift in this age. I wanted to talk about it and share what I was experiencing with the hope of helping other women as well. My brand consists of a weekly newsletter and a monthly vlog designed to motivate and inspire women over 60 to thrive in mature ageing through knowledge and self-awareness. One day, I'd like to conduct in-person conversations called The Skylark Sessions. These can be held in someone’s home or at a local library or senior center. Stay tuned.
My Weekly Newsletter - My weekly newsletter, Skylark Live Town News, features articles about human interest, nature, general observations, inspiration, motivation, music, places I've been to, and ideas I want to explore. I represent Bay Shore and towns beyond. There is also a calendar of events. I throw in Italian words, too, because I love the language and all things Italian. Bella Italia! As a paying subscriber, you will receive my newsletter each Wednesday morning in your email. That gives you a head's up. You can also advertise your business or event on my newsletter. Just click this link to subscribe: For updates, subscribe to our free newsletter!
My Monthly Vlog - My first Monday-of-the month vlog is a recap of the articles I've written in my newsletter throughout the previous month. Then, I introduce a unique topic for the current month's vlog. My vlog is recorded and posted on my YouTube channel as well as on my Patreon account and my social media sites. Just click my YouTube channel link below to subscribe: www.youtube.com/@christineskylark
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Support me on Patreon - This is where you can support my brand for just $5 a month. This enables me to carve out time to write my newsletters, create my vlogs and to expand my brand. Just click the link below: www.patreon.com/SkylarkLive
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Thank you for your love and support! Grazie per il vostro amore e sostegno!
